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store music

What in the world is up with CVS's choice of music?
The last few times I've been in there, I've been put quickly in a depressed mood from the horrible music....
songs that I've never heard before. songs that I can't imagine anyone thinking "this is a good song"
I can't help but wonder if there's some specific purpose for playing such poor music.
does it cost them extra to play quality music?
can anyone enlighten me?

what I want....

think about the last time you saw someone throwing a fit...

super annoying kind...

they're acting ridiculous.

to the point that you feel it almost appropriate to slap some sense into them.

maybe it was a kid...maybe an "adult"

hopefully the latest example offered by you was when you were MUCH younger...

I wish i could say the same.

Ok so it wasn't physically yelling and screaming...but I was totally enjoying my fit

how about junior high? elementary school?

you remember something that was just consuming you....something or someone you felt like you just HAD to have? yeah.

back then it was stupid stuff....toys, candy, clothes, status, relationships...

we spent days and weeks thinking of how much we needed it and how much better life would be if we did....we'd pretty much have the  perfect life then.... right?

and once we got it then we wanted something else...

actually, I have way too many current personal examples

its a crazy cycle - always something else to want and seemingly important enough to throw a fit about if I don't get it

a few years ago, a friend and I were looking for a place to live. Of course our favorite place was just a little too expensive for what I knew I could afford. I began to justify why I should go ahead and be stupid with my money....why it would make my life that much better. so worth it!

luckily we passed on it and settled for a more economical place.

Ironic...but not surprising, God provided a place that was so much better yet less expensive than my previous "ideal situation". I look out my window every day and see that former "ideal" a great reminder that He's always providing above and beyond.

Sometimes my "fits" these days come in the form of a prayer request to someone....I can package them in many creative ways that are more socially acceptable than me laying in the floor kicking and screaming...but its still just a plain fit. maybe God would rather me kick and scream for a few minutes than to carry an untrusting...uncontent heart.

I must always hold on to the fact that God is good.

Despite my perspective of reality around me....He's really good. More than I could ever imagine. 

Always working for whats best for us as it relates to His Kingdom...not just what we want.

I love the little dude in this video...if only I could hold on to the simple truth in this song like he is....

What is your deepest Fear?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love

24 things....that happen on vacation

1. start the fun on the plane by laughing at people freaked out by turbulence - sorry if thats you

2. reunion with my brother, Chris at Denver International -the one with the mountainroof

3. drive into the rockies...letting them minister to me :)

4. greeted by two random golden retrievers (my favorite dog) upon parking - official sign of the Lord's blessing

5. re-learn how to build a fire in the fireplace

6. buy new ski pants that fit - those things shrink :0

7. hit the slopes - literally. and witness the grandest crash by my brother
(the aftermath - http://youtube.com/watch?v=nR_af03Gg3Q )

8. experience multiple slope catastrophes and slight collisions
(by the way, its good to try everything on the slopes that you were able to do in high school and college.....for the rst of your life.....your body can still do it ;)

9. leave the slopes early. drive through a blizzard and sliding semis for boarding at Keystone.

10. put boots on and - oh! what.....they just turned the lights out

11. hike the dark mountain to board anyway

12. solitude time. cry out. listen. peace. refreshment.
good stuff.

13. phone call - i have a new boss! exciting announcement this Sunday at church - glorious

14. arrive in L.A. - fail to change watch to Pacific time - decide that its ok....you got it in your head

15. witness L.A.ers freak out about rain

16. Wayne time - L.A. highlights

17. volunteer at Passion conference - Louie, Chan, Tomlin, Crowder, Redman

18. receive a Tom hug. quality.

19. calculate time for departure schedule during worship time...including faithful watch bearing Central time

20. walk into airport...proud of a masterminded itinerary. check in to a flight thats already gone. no more flights until tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon

21. humility dose for the holistic experience: begging, must be at church tomorrow morning, desperate phone calls, dad and travel agent to the rescue.....$400 one-way ticket to Houston. mom and dad...er, can you please take my car to another airport??? - yes, the one real far away.

22. dinner in Phoenix airport - the unfortunate, yet required stop

23. touchdown in Houston: 2:15 am - joyous ride on "car spot" bus through parking lot - attempting to find my graciously delivered car

24. 3:30 am....crawl in bed. vacation a success!

late foreword: friend gives me $500 just before I left...."God told me to give this to you...not sure what you'll need it for....but you're supposed to have this. have a great time!"
Now I see.
well? ...wait, did I mess that up, or was that provision for something that God knew would happen?


hurts my brain :)

be still

Its really hard to be still.

Just 24 hours into some solitude time...I'm about ready to climb the walls.

Reality is, I probably need a week alone with God, just to be still - to listen - process - be.

Even in the attempting to be still, its amazing the places my mind has attempted to go in order to fight being still. anxieties, what if's, why nots, what now....you name it.

Its like stripping gears - slamming on the brakes from the pace life has taken this past year.

I attempted to mentally and emotionally process - take account of the events since a year ago.

pretty amazing the direction changes, provisions, challenges, adventures, miracles....all in a whirlwind of 365 days.

A few things began to surface today:

1> I am not in control -

how boring would it be if God let me map out my life? I would never intentionally plan a dark valley for a season in my life...too hard. I'd plan a ton of mountain top experiences....that I ultimately wouldn't cherish as much because I wouldn't have the contrast of the valley....the impossible task, deep hurt, etc. make for the perfect backdrop of God's amazing intervention and provision...always over the top

2> Be

Who could've guessed at all that would happen this past year? I would've never dreamed!

I reflect on those things, hoping that I've been a good steward of each opportunity and challenge.

with a "grab bag" of events in the past and future - the only thing that I can always control is my heart and attitude in the journey. The way this or that happened probably won't matter 20 years from now, but the things I let in my heart to shape who I am...those seeds of what I dwell on will grow into something big (good or bad) in 20 years.....

my view of God, attitude towards life, view of others....

I can choose to "be" who God has called me to be - in whatever circumstance to be assured of who He is and who I am - living life to the full without regret

3> God is massive and I'm amazed that He not only is aware of me, but is more in touch with the thoughts and emotions in me than even I am.

Crazy thing is that its true with every person on the planet.

this evening I was sitting on top of a mountain in Colorado (my favorite place) soaking in God's creation as I watched the sun set over the rockies - the picture above hardly captures it. Huge beautiful mountains! I looked down into the valley and saw these tiny houses and cars.....the people were too small to see - and it just struck me that every single thing that was happening in that tiny town, God knew and cared about. Every person, every situation He was aware of and actively involved too!

A God that spoke the mountains and all of creation into existence, yet is actively involved with my life - so blessed!

So....being still shows me how fragile I am....how fragile and crazy life is

yet how exciting and fulfilling it is to spend that life in the pursuit of knowing and loving my Creator so that I can discover and grow into what I'm called to be, wherever I'm called to go -with a mind-blowing, powerful, gracious and loving God who is guiding every step.

I think I'll stay here 'til I run out of money.